"Wow, Sarutobi-Sensei...You're a perv." ~Little!Jiraiya

By me and others. Be warned, you will be scarred.

"I pee with an erection all the time!"

"fin. As in: french for 'stop talking in brackets'"

"next time let's find something other than 'Harlem Nocturne' It's a bit...well...it's a bit 'bad gay porn' don't you think?"

"Jack: cant wait
so...
you watch house?
me: no
Jack: KILL THE INFIDEL!"

"me:[stammers...]
whoops
sorry
that went into the wrong box"

"Jack: ah. waiting for convo...
me: I'm trying to get it in the damn email w/ out the rest of the page...gmail is not cooperating
8:49 PM Jack: maybe you should cut it with a hot knife
me: that might work...
ok
before I send this to you...
I'm warning you.
Jack: if you censor it...
me: It's Harry Potter fanfiction.
Jack: lol
i can take it
8:50 PM me: and it's gay sex. this is your last chance to back out
;)
Jack: no im good
me: ok
Jack: you sound like you're trying to convince me...
to...\
8:51 PM me: Unfortunately, I have not the equipment to do so, dear."

"if you're ever interested in more well written gay porn, I have a fictionpress account."

"The mormons all hate me at least."

"well, for future reference, i dont multitask to little children."

"shota scares the fuck out of me. I'm sorry, but you can't fit three penises into a pubescent boy, and if you WANT to, there's something wrong."

"Jack: hmmm
welll
lucky....
9:52 PM ANYWAYS!
you still talking to connor
?
me: yeah
but we've stopped making HP characters fuck for the night."

"Hoskins: I love you, Harry.
me: that feels a bit awkward just now, thanks.
[walks away]"

"Horizontal dancing?"

"Becket and I are talking about cat femmepreg"