"Wow, Sarutobi-Sensei...You're a perv." ~Little!Jiraiya

The past few days have not been the best. Between college apps, my sucky family, thinking about my last school year, obnoxious "friends,"  Conner's surgery coming up, and stupid selfish in-laws, I'm ready to rip open the next person who looks at me wrong. I'll probably be right as rain tomorrow, but right now, I want to break things.

I am sooo sick of people who come to me with their problems and expect me to set their life straight, and then, once I have, think they can just never speak to me again.

I'm sick of trying to be the mediator and make everybody happy.

I'm sick of not being able to sleep with Conner, of worrying about his dad hearing us fuck.

I'm sick of having writer's block, of not being able to do anything useful.

I'm sick of feeling like I'm constantly on the verge of a mental breakdown.

I'm sick of stupid people, of people who pretend to be so fucking caring and goddamn saintly, but really don't give a shit about anyone but themselves.

I'm sick of feeling like the only person in the world who gives ANYTHING out of the goodness of my heart, not just because I might get something in return.

I'm sick of people who don't even know what love is trying to tell me that I can't possibly feel as strongly as they do, telling me that my love is somehow LESS than theirs because their older or wiser or some shit like that, because I've been in a relationship for six years, and in case the bastard hasn't noticed that's three times as long as his rushed stupid little fucking marriage.

I'm sick of hiding my ideals, or masking them behind some watered-down, chaste form of Greek pederasty, just because society can't fucking handle that there are men who would raise their children, love their children a million times better than they could ever dream of doing themselves, who would sacrifice their lives for their children, or at least spend a little money on their health instead of pot for themselves, so years and years down the road, their kid wouldn't face DEATH because his godamn dumbass father was too high to pay for a proper fucking doctor. I'm sick of my kind of people going down in history as "homosexuals," or worse yet, straight people. I'm sick of the fact that no one tells you that NEARLY EVERY GREAT MIND IN HISTORY was the mind of a pederast, of a boylover. I'm sick of feeling like I have some horrible disease I can't tell anyone about. I'm sick of being lumped into the same category as these sick fucks who rape children, who KILL children. Who manipulate and coerce. These men that I would RIP LIMB FROM LIMB if I ever met them.

I'm sick of people.

Fuck it.